If you read that headline and thought this would be about sex, get your mind out of the gutter. If you thought it was about graphic design, sorry, I can’t help you. This is story about falling and other not-so-graceful feats of klutziness – my expertise.
I bump into walls, desks and anything shin-level so frequently that you could play a challenging game of connect the dots with the bruises on my body. And in the last decade alone, I’ve survived at least five headers down flights of stairs. You could say it’s just the way I roll (or tumble).
So my mother wasn’t surprised when, while we chatted by phone three days ago, she heard me cry out followed by a loud thud – all-too-familiar sounds of me wiping out Jeremy-Abbott style.
But unlike Abbott, I wasn’t attempting a difficult jump on ice, and I didn’t rise with dignity and complete the rest of an inspiring performance. Instead, I cursed my aptly named cat Scooter for stepping under foot, scrambled for my phone, and told my mom we’d have to talk later.
This proclivity for clumsiness is undoubtedly why those who know me best shuddered, a few years back, when I signed up for the Superhero Scramble, a 4-mile obstacle-course race. I love adrenaline and needed motivation to get back in the gym. Seemed like a good idea to me.
“But, Kim, dear. What about all your spills down the stairs?” Mom pleaded.
“What about the fact that I escaped all of those without only a few bruises and no broken bones?” I countered. “I’ll be fine.”
Inside, doubt crept in. I could barely run a quarter-mile without passing out and upper-body strength was non-existent. Facing a series of 20+ physically demanding obstacles intimidated me more than I cared to admit.
Still, I recruited my sister and four friends, downloaded a “Couch Potato to 5K” app, and started training. Two months later, event day arrived.
Memories of past accidents flowed through my mind as we waited near the start line. “You’re an idiot!” screamed my common sense. But before I could seriously consider backing out, we were off.
What followed was one of the most entertaining and exhilarating days of my life!
Despite my fear of heights and lack of coordination, I tackled and completed every challenge. Well, sort of. Technically a stranger hoisted me up the last few feet of the final obstacle, but that still counts, right?
I stumbled, slipped and fell a few times along the way, but I walked away pretty much injury-free and gained a new confidence in my athletic ability. In fact, I’ve since completed numerous 5Ks and added a 10K to my list of accomplishments this past fall.
Not bad for a gal nicknamed Klutzy Kim. Now, if I could just master walking in my living room, life would be grand (or at least less painful).
(This post was inspired, in part, by the Daily Prompt: Walking on the Moon. “What giant step did you take where you hoped your leg wouldn’t break? Was it worth it, were you successful in walking on the moon, or did your leg break?”)